This week has been an interesting one for writing. This is my second attempt at this blog post, the first of which talked about the emptiness that I was feeling at the beginning of the week. Coming off of writing Charlie’s second suicide attempt last week, I started this week feeling very emotionally drained. I didn’t have ideas and I didn’t want to write.
This wasn’t a case of writer’s block. Despite not using an outline for this project, I knew exactly where I wanted to take the story and what I wanted to say, I just didn’t have the motivation or the emotional means to sit down and actually say it. I was no longer actively hiding from my work like I had been the week before, but now I was passively avoiding it and hoping that nothing would come up and cause it to find me. I was extremely low-energy and unmotivated in a way that mirrored some characters and completely opposed others. While Sam shared my exhaustion, she also felt the need to move forward, whereas I struggled with that concept. Jo, on the other hand, was bouncing off the walls because of her news, and I simply couldn’t match that enthusiasm. I was tired, drained, and I didn’t want to do it.
Because I wasn’t afraid of the writing this week, eventually I stepped into it and got to work; the words came slowly at first, but eventually, the process became fluid. This week’s progress has taken me into the denouement of the story. I am finally at the stage where hope is again present, and for a moment, the characters can all take a deep breath and be happy with themselves and where they are. The crushing tension that has been building through the chapters has been resolved. It isn’t the resolution that some characters were hoping for, and it is different than all the characters were expecting, but for now, there is some much-needed peace.
Today I wrote the set up for one of the final scenes, where the girls have to step into discomfort in order to mend their broken relationships. It is a necessary step and one that I am still working through, even in real life, though I have made considerably more progress than my girls have at this point. Learning to move forward is a process, and it is optional. Growth is something that we choose. No one is the same person that they were at the beginning of the story, and the story will continue even after my book ends. That’s how life works. The girls are experiencing a hard moment in life, but they have all displayed the courage and love for each other, necessary to get them through
Today I set up hope, and next week I move into it. I am nearing the end of my first draft and am excited to be moving forward in this journey that we are on together.
Thank you endlessly for your support. Your company is a light on this long road.
Word Count: 133,000
Project Status: Writing First Draft